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Get Him Back
Nice Guys or Bad Boys?
Relationship Success
Why Is he Distant?
Why He Doesn't Call
Create Attraction
Why Men Leave
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Creating “Intense Attraction”
With A Man
I'd like to tell you a story...
It's a story that you might find strangely familiar.
Don't be alarmed.
Once upon a time, there was a woman who was very
attracted to a particular man.
At first, he was just another attractive man... but
the more she got to know him, the more she began to
feel attracted to him... and the more time she spent
with him, the more that attraction grew into a deep
emotional attachment and affection for him.
But there was one problem.
As her emotional attachment grew stronger and
stronger, she also grew more and more insecure.
Why?
Because she couldn't tell whether or not he felt the
same way towards her.
Sometimes he would talk to her and say things that
led her to believe that they shared a special
connection, but nothing ever progressed past the
“friendship” stage.
There was an occasional glance, an occasional email
or call from him... and a few times, he even opened
up about something personal or emotional, and
invited her “inside” for a little while.
But something was wrong with the picture.
He just wasn't acting like a man who was “falling in
love”. He was acting like a friend, but at times,
even more distant than a friend would be.
And things seemed to be hot and cold. Sometimes he
would look at her and talk to her, and sometimes he
would ignore her and close himself off.
The insecurity that she felt from all this, became a
spiral that amplified itself... and the more
insecure she became, the more afraid she grew of
“screwing things up” or “scaring him off”, by
starting conversations or asking him if he was
interested in her and why he didn't ask her out.
Plus, the more insecure she became, the less time he
seemed to want to spend with her.
After spending days and nights obsessing over this
guy, the woman finally arrived at the conclusion
that if he only knew how SHE FELT, that he would
feel the same way.
So she made a bold move.
She TOLD HIM how she felt.
She confessed her feelings and let him know that she
wanted to be with him.
He responded by flirting with her and he spent some
time alone with her, and they even kissed and held
each other.
But soon after, he quickly withdrew, didn't call her
and wasn't really “available” to her.
This only confused the woman more.
She didn't know how to take it...
Did it mean that he really loved her too, but that
he was afraid of something?
Did it mean that he wasn't ready for a long-term
relationship?
Did it mean that he didn't love her, and that he was
trying to give her a hint?
Did it mean that she hadn't tried hard enough?
Did it mean that she needed to put everything on the
line and REALLY let him know how she felt?
She finally decided that she couldn't go on like
this anymore... she had to be with him.
She had to make sure that he knew just how much she
wanted to be with him... so she took a big step,
bought him a symbolic gift and wrote him a letter...
again confessing her feelings.
And then, something unthinkable happened.
Either he didn't reply at all... (Ouch!)
Or he replied and she connected with him on an
emotional and physical level for a brief time, but
then he backed away.
Then she called him a couple of times, the following
week before reaching him.
He made an excuse about being very busy and said,
“I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to go”...
and hung up... but she never got a call back.
Over the following months, the woman tried
desperately to understand what went wrong... and
what happened.
THE END...
OK, I'm back.
Now, wasn't that a sweet story?
Heartwarming, huh?
I know; I should keep my day job, and not take-up
writing romance novels...
Now, let's talk about that story.
That story is basically a MYTH.
But I'm not talking about FICTION here.
I'm talking about a story that rings true for lots
of women. A story that is timeless. A story that
resonates at a deep level, because you can IDENTIFY
with it.
And why does this particular story resonate for some
women?
Because lots of women have been there in one way or
another... at one time or another... and many have
been there OFTEN in their lives.
Another thing that gives this particular story a lot
of power, is the powerful negative emotions that it
stirs... as a result of the powerful negative
experiences that it brings back...
Stories and situations like this one, really
FASCINATE me.
They fascinate me, because I see them as an
opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that
they represent.
In this particular situation, I think there is a
solution.
It lies in understanding a SECRET that lots of WOMEN
DON'T GET.
That secret comes down to the reality that if a man
isn't ATTRACTED to a woman, all of her attempts to
confess her love, convince him to like her and court
her, BACKFIRE.
In other words, they not only DON'T WORK; they
actually make things WORSE.
In other words, the very things that a woman does to
try to make a man LIKE HER, make him NOT like her.
They make him run.
All of those great intentions and emotional
dedication actually cause the woman feeling them, to
do things that make the man go away.
It sucks!
But it's a strangely common dynamic, that also takes
place inside dating situations and new relationships
without women (or men) really being aware of it, and
understanding what's going on.
And I hope that by explaining the process of how
this happens to you, that I'll help you avoid this
painful situation in your own future...
And maybe you can start to understand what's going
on a little better, if you think about what it's
like when a man you're NOT attracted to, desperately
wants your attention, affection and your time.
Have you ever had a guy pursue you?
As he's trying to get your attention, approval and
affection, all of his pleading and effort just seems
to bug you more and make you want to get away.
Even if all he's doing, is telling you great things
about yourself and how he feels about you?
Strange and interesting...
Choices And The Paradox Of Attraction
I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans
don't always understand the message that we're
communicating to others...
So often we think that because we WANT to
communicate a message, that others are going to
NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.
Have you ever seen a woman who dresses over-the-top
sexy and wears way to much make-up?
Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don't think
that her appearance is communicating the message to
men that she thinks it is”...?
Yeah, I have too.
Well, here's the deal:
If you do something to “let a man know how you feel”
... but he isn't open to the situation at that time,
or he isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to
backfire.
It's going to trigger a feeling for the man, that I
like to call the “Instant Ewww”.
The “Instant Ewww” is just as powerful as the
physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.
Once a man feels it, YOU'RE DONE.
It's over.
It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the
coffin.
Once a man feels the “Instant Ewww”, he'll start
behaving differently.
In short, he'll back off or even disappear.
So where did I get the concept of the “Instant Ewww”?
I got it from watching WOMEN.
I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word “Ewww”,
when describing how they felt about a guy that was
“confessing his love”... and of course, these were
guys that weren't loved in return by the woman.
Men do the same kind of thing with a woman they're
not attracted to.
Often they try to be “nice” about it. They let the
attention pump up their ego a bit, and then they
create what is often an unconscious barrier in their
mind, that closes off communication or contact with
her.
And the resulting vacuum sound you hear, is what's
happening as any ATTRACTION and interest he might
have felt, evaporates.
So what causes the “Instant Ewww”?
And why would a man feel it, towards a woman who was
trying to be nice... a woman who was giving him
attention, a gift or telling him how she feels?
Because if you think about it from HIS perspective,
you'll realize that the moment you do something to
“confess”, you've created a TURNING POINT in the
relationship.
Up until that point, you were harmless.
I mean, men know when they are getting some “special
attention” from a woman.
And they usually know it from the beginning.
But now that you've started pursuing him and talking
about how you feel, you've created a NEGATIVE
TENSION that can be VERY uncomfortable.
You've triggered an emotion that can actually repel
a man and make him even more detached from his
emotions.
Here's the thing...
You can't “make a man like you” or “change how he
feels about you”, by doing nice things for him.
Doing “nice” things for a man who isn't attracted to
you, HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the
“Instant Ewww” feeling, that makes it so he'll
perhaps NEVER like you.
Men are the worst at this, by the way.
They make this mistake over and over again in life,
because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them.
They're doing it, because they don't have an
understanding of ATTRACTION.
I mean, if you have a friend and you like them, and
you want to make them like you more... and you do
some nice things for them, they will probably like
you more.
On the other hand...
If you have a man that you “like” in a romantic way,
and he doesn't “feel it” for you, and you do
something nice for him, because you want HIM to like
you more, it will BACKFIRE... and he will not only
NOT like you more, but he will most likely distance
himself from you.
Women think that they need to communicate verbally
when they like a man... as if that's part of the
necessary process of getting a guy.
In their minds, it goes like this:
Like him>Tell him you like him>He likes you
Well, remember... if you follow this pattern,
yourself, with men who aren't already ATTRACTED to
you, then it's going to BACKFIRE.
If he's not into you, then it goes like THIS:
He thinks of you as a friend>You tell him you like
him>He gets the “Instant Ewwws” and withdraws...
THE ANSWER
There are really TWO answers to this problem.
The first answer, is what to do if you're in a
situation where you like a particular guy, but you
don't know if he likes you back.
DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HIM.
Don't buy him a big gift, do something nice to show
him how much you think about him or write him a love
letter...
Don't send him a note to his work that says, “From
your secret admirer”.
Don't call him several times, without hearing from
him.
And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for him.
If you want to know how he feels about you, do
something to ATTRACT HIM and see how he reacts
instead of telling him you love him and hearing the
crickets chirp as you wait for his response.
As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HIM. Use
SIGNALS from him to find out how he feels... and if
you don't know how to read and create those signals,
then LEARN.
Asking a man if he's interested in you in a romantic
way, or if you are “his type”, will actually DESTROY
the chances that his attraction and interest in you
will grow.
Really.
The SECOND answer, is to not get into this
particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it
entirely.
And how does one do that?
One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the
beginning.
One does that by understanding the dynamics of how
and why men have the physical and emotional response
of ATTRACTION triggered.
One does that by knowing what you're doing FROM THE
BEGINNING.
And what's the best way to learn THAT skill?
I thought you'd never ask...
Well, I've written about attraction before and I'll
write about it again.
In my eBook, I talk about some of the very best ways
to learn how to make man feel
ATTRACTION for you.
But above and beyond the meeting and attracting men
“stuff”, I also talk about how attraction,
communication, psychology and emotions all play into
the longer term “stuff” around dating, and creating
a solid foundation for a future relationship.
In my eBook, I go deep inside the mind of a man to
tell you the secrets and truths that lots of women
will never know about.
The eBook is called “Catch Him And Keep Him”.
I've spent several years now, studying the ways that
women (and men) who are “naturals”, communicate
using their words, voice tone and body language.
The way they integrate all these, makes them
MAGNETIC to be around. And you probably know what
I'm talking about, if you know any women who seem
“lucky in love”. Where everything involving men
seems to come easily and effortlessly to them.
And I'll tell you... it's not magic.
You don't have to be gorgeous or young.
And you don't have to be LUCKY.
What you DO have to do is LEARN.
It's a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY woman
can learn it if she wants.
But you're not likely to figure it out by “trial and
error”. Many of the keys to making men feel
ATTRACTION and want to be around you for the
long-term aren't “obvious”, at all.
In fact, many of them make no sense... and they're
the LAST thing you'd do in a particular situation,
if you didn't know the SECRETS.
For more about these secrets, go check out my eBook.
It's jam-packed with insights, concepts, tips and
secrets.
Go here to check it out:
Click
Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download
Thanks and best of luck in life and love.
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
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