Christian Carter

Interviews With Dating and Relationship Experts

 

 

 

Up
Dr. Alex
Evan Marc Katz
Marie Forleo
Rori Raye
Carlos Xuma
Karinna Kittles-Karston

Catch Him & Keep Him

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christian Carter Interviews Dr. Alex

 

Christian Carter of Catch Him and Keep recently interviewed Dr. Alex, who is the acclaimed author of The Tao of Dating. Dr. Alex presents a fascinating blend of Eastern Philosophy and spirituality into his dating tips and relationship advice.

Here are some tidbits of what Dr. Alex shared with Christian Carter’s Catch Him and Keep Him listeners in his interview.

1. Balance Your “Yin And Yang”

One of the fascinating concepts that Dr. Alex shared from Eastern Philosophy is the idea of Yin and Yang and how it plays out in the world of dating, relationships, and love. You've probably seen the Yin and Yang symbol - it's a circle made up of two tear-drops intertwined, one white and one black. The white one represents feminine energy (Yin), and the black one represents masculine energy (Yang). Within each tear drop is a dot of the opposite color. The white tear drop representing feminine energy has a black dot in the middle of it, showing that it's natural and healthy for the feminine to have a small element of masculine energy for balance.

In the same way, the black tear drop representing masculine energy has a white dot in the middle of it, showing that within the masculine there should be a small element of feminine energy too.

The idea behind this is that when men and women have the right amount of masculine and feminine energies, we complement each other perfectly… and the result is a fulfilling, lasting, harmonious relationship.

So why aren't more of us in great relationships?

Well, in the very distant past (thousands of years ago and beyond), masculine and feminine roles were much simpler to identify and participate in. For example, the men would hunt, and the women would gather. Pretty simple. If you did your part and fulfilled your role, everything was status quo. In those days, with such clear differences between masculine and feminine, it's safe to say that the natural magnetism betweenthe sexes was much easier to see and feel.

But Dr. Alex tells Christian Carter of Catch Him and Keep Him that in recent years, the new roles of men and women have blurred the boundaries of masculinity and femininity. For example, many women find that taking on a more masculine, driven energy at work helps them achieve more, get praise, move up, etc…. which is great.

But if you come home and interact with a man when you're still in that "masculine mode", and he’s also a “masculine” type of man, it can create subtle or even intense conflict.

Remember, when Yin and Yang get together, there's harmony. But when a woman comes home masculine (Yang), and she interacts with her masculine man (who is also Yang), you get two Yangs… and Dr. Alex says that almost always causes some disharmony and challenge.

Dr. Alex tells Christian Carter and the Catch Him and Keep Him subscribers that the key is to make a conscious choice of WHERE you use each kind of energy. For example, it's great to be able to shift into a more directed, masculine energy at work… but when you come home, what's really going to make you feel like a man is there for you and help him satisfy and fulfill you, is if you move into your feminine energy of feeling, sharing and connection.

Of course, a “masculine” single man is also going to feel more connected with you and feel comfortable getting close and affectionate with you when you shift back into your natural feminine energy and allow space for him to take on the more “masculine” role.

Allowing your femininity to express itself is a HUGE attraction turn-on for a man and the more you learn how to do this consciously, the more success you’re going to have at knowing how to draw a man into love and affection with you – and get him out of his head, his work, and all the distractions the world has for you both even when you’re together.

2. Kill Your Prince

Dr. Alex (like many of the other dating and relationship experts that Christian Carter interviews) said one of the most common mistakes women make in dating and relationships is looking for their “Prince”, or “A Knight In Shining Armor".

While lots of people talk about this concept, Alex has a unique take and reason for talking about this… because there’s a huge challenge women (and men in their own ways) deal with when it comes to long term relationships.

That challenge is PERFECTIONISM.

We all know that in reality a perfect mate in every way doesn't exist. But the issue is that while we KNOW this, we don’t LIVE this way. Dr. Alex also shared a “Zen” saying from his studies and personal experiences in Eastern philosophy: "a broken cup is perfect at being a broken cup."

He said that all things, including human beings, are like broken cups. They are perfect - not in the sense of being flawless, but it being what they are. In other words, you can see more of the perfection of any person by practicing the simple act of ACCEPTING another human being as they are.

Let go of that image of your “Prince”…. is SO important in allowing you to be truly and deeply satisfied in your relationship. When you let go of your need for perfection, you'll find that you free yourself and a man to see each other’s hidden strengths – strengths most women overlook because they fall into the common trap of focusing on imperfections, scarcity, and what’s missing.

When you accept a man for who he is in that moment, and begin to look at him for who he is (and not what you’d like him to be or what he isn’t), something VERY interesting will happen… By allowing him to feel accepted at a deep level, he in turn will trust you more… open up to you more… and reveal a deeper part of himself to you – a part he may have never shown to any other woman.

3. The Trap Of “Love At First Sight”

Have you ever stopped to think about the idea that you were brought up with a romanticized idea of “love at first sight”? It's easy to buy into the idea that unless you're overcome with a rush of emotions the very first time you see a man… or on your very first date… then he's obviously not “the one”. After all, chemistry is one of the most important parts of a dating… right?

Well, Dr. Alex brought up an interesting point… Think of the last man you dated who you had great chemistry with at the very beginning. Now ask yourself…. where is he now? If the answer is that he's no longer around, then that should tell you something.

Intense attraction at the beginning is NOT a good indicator of the potential for a lasting relationship. But tons women and men, day after day, are terribly guilty of following what their emotions tell them about their partner… instead of learning to look for a balance of the emotional, “rational”, and psychological connection that will tell you much, much more about where things might end up in the future.

And here’s an interesting fact: Dr. Alex also shared with Christian Carter - that most women marry men who they didn’t feel that hot and heavy for at first. Which would you rather have: ... a sudden explosion of feeling that quickly ends?

… or a sustained appreciation of beauty that grows over time?

Pretty easy to answer, I bet.

These are just some of the highlights of Christian Carters Interview with Dr. Alex.

Check out Dr. Alex's book here:

The Tao of Dating : A Smart Woman's Guide to Embracing Your Inner Goddess and Finding the Fulfillment You Deserve

Sign yourself up now by clicking here to get Christian Carter's Catch Him and Keep Him eBook and Interview Series subscription. 

TweetIt from HubSpot
 

 
 

Affiliates Contact Us Links Sitemap