YOU Be the Girl!
Don't Be His Friend!
Are You Obsessed?
How to Do Intimacy
By Rori Raye
If you've ever wished there weren't another woman on
the planet who thought your man was cute - I've got
a better idea.
Once a man falls for you, if you know how to keep
the attraction and the intimacy going strong, your
relationship will be foolproof. No other woman can
ever capture more than a quick glance from him - his
heart is yours.
If your man has a really good friend who just
happens to be a woman, and it drives you crazy and
makes you feel jealous and awful, I know just how
Rori Raye writes:
I remember one important man in my life whose best
friends were all women - and they'd all once been
his girlfriends, too.
I can't forget the evenings I spent sitting on the
floor of our apartment, eating dinner off the coffee
table in the middle of the room, surrounded by seven
of his ex-girlfriends, one of which I knew he still
had feelings for but I somehow accepted it because
she was gay.
I remember NEW women friends showing up in his life
all the time, and I remember how hard I worked to
turn each one of them into MY friends, even if I had
to push my way into a dinner that was supposed to be
just between "the two of them." It always had
something to do with "work," and it was always "just
friends," but they got better gifts on their
birthdays than I did, they got more attention than I
did, and they got better conversations with him.
It's no wonder that relationship finally didn't work
out - but it wasn't because of those women.
It had nothing to do with them.
They really were just friends - and the fact that he
seemed to care for them more than he cared for me
had nothing to do with them, either.
The problem was that I was unable to be with that
man in a deep, connected way.
Not only could I not express my feelings, I couldn't
even find them.
If you asked me then what I was feeling, I'd look at
It took me a while to turn all that around, but with
the techniques and Tools I developed to help myself
and my clients, you can do it so much faster and
easier than I did.
Here's a letter from Kathy, who's stuck in a
push-pull stalemate with her husband over his
"friendship" with another woman:
I'm having trouble trying to understand my husband.
He's distant with me...He has a lady friend at work
which I don't like because whenever she has problems
she calls him and my husband tries to be there for
her. I keep telling him 'she has a husband why does
she have to tell you her problems?'. We are having
problems because of her.
I try to understand but my feelings and anger and
hurt gets in the way... also trust. My husband wants
to be family friends with this woman and I don't
want that - he just doesn't understand me.
He calls her everyday even if they see each other at
work. He doesn't give me as much attention as he
does her. He also told me he doesn't love me or have
feelings for me.
Ever since she has entered our life it's been
problems. What do you think I should do? I'm very
hurt and confused I want him back to feeling the way
he used to. Thanks Emily"
***I just want to wrap my arms around Emily and hug
her - and I also want to shake her.
I know you can see that everything she's thinking
about this situation, and everything she's doing and
saying is just making it worse - and yet I know that
when you're right in the middle of something that
feels so awful - you don't know what else to do.
Let's pull apart what's happening here, and why what
Emily's doing is not working.
1. Emily's husband has lost his "feeling" for her.
2. He's met a woman at work who interests him enough
to want to talk to her every day, even after
spending the whole day at work with her.
3. Because he feels bad, and doesn't want to end the
marriage, he wants to keep this woman in his life
with Emily's blessing - so he's trying to get Emily
to accept her as "Okay" - he wants to make her a
4. Emily's understandably upset...but...
5. She's focused on this Other Woman - when she
should be focused on HERSELF.
Bottom line, the problem is not this woman, it's in
Emily's inability to attract her husband to her in a
deep, emotional, intimate and cheat- proof way.
So - how does she turn all this around fast? First,
Emily needs to understand that this is about her and
her relationship with her husband, and take charge
again of herself instead of complaining about this
Next, she needs to stop feeling jealous and start
looking at the day-to-day life she has with her
She needs to start seeing when and how he lost
romantic interest in her, and then make some changes
to get it back.
I'm not saying her husband's blameless - but you
can't make a man feel something he doesn't feel by
TELLING him to.
You can't ORDER him to love you.
If he's behaving in an intolerable way, and you
don't want to make the changes that need to be made
to save the marriage, then you can leave.
But you can't push a man into Romance.
You have to INVITE him.
And you have to invite him into romance with you
even if you're feeling sad, angry, resentful, and
everything else Emily must be feeling right now.
Sound impossible? It's not. It just takes some new
So how can Emily stop pushing him away, complaining
and telling him what to do about this woman? 1.
First - she can STOP talking about her at all.
Not one mention. Not one complaint. Not one
If her husband should bring her up - such as "Let's
have her over for dinner, okay?" - Emily has to say
what she feels and what she DOESN'T want in this
That could look like: "I feel uncomfortable having
her over. I feel jealous of her, and angry with you
about her, and I don't like feeling that, so I don't
want her in our house." And then she stands there
for a moment and listens to what he has to say.
If he tries to convince her, she just sticks to the
same words: "I feel uncomfortable and I don't want
to invite her over..." And then she can walk away
from the conversation.
Or, she can go with "Sure." And let her come over so
she can see for herself.
2. Next - she needs to use all my Tools to start
fresh in her marriage. (Reconnect Your Relationship
is perfect for this - it will help her "Change
Everything" - her "vibe," the way her husband
relates to her - everything. You can sign up for my
free newsletters and read about Reconnect right
Heart Connection ToolKit
3. This is all about changing her "energy" from
being "combative" and "challenging" with her husband
because she feels so mushy and weak on the inside,
to feeling so strong inside that she can be a soft,
alluring, magnetic woman on the outside.
If you'd like to read and see more about how Emily
(and you, too) can quickly become a Modern Siren who
irresistibly draws men close and makes them want to
stick like glue to you, sign up for my free
My Tools can help Emily get a handle on her own
If you've read any of these letters, you know I'm
not about "hiding" your emotions, or "changing"
them, or "distracting yourself" from even your most
unpleasant feelings - instead, Emily has to dive in
and become AWARE of how her feelings are hurting her
and her marriage.
And in order to become aware of your true feelings,
you have to feel them.
And once you can feel them, in order to create true
intimacy with a man, you have to be able to EXPRESS
your feelings with him in a way that doesn't push
him away - as Emily is doing by attacking him,
trying to get him to act differently - trying to get
him to LOVE her.
Expressing your feelings in an authentic way not
only lets a man see who you are and get close to you
because of your vulnerability - it allows him to
feel SAFE with you.
For most of us, this kind of instruction sounds like
a direction to "have a serious talk about the
relationship." But that's NOT what works.
Later on, Emily might be able to say "I feel bad
about our marriage. It would feel so good to be
close to you again..." But that's WAY later.
NOW - Emily needs to say things like "This feels so
fun," whenever there's a moment of fun between them.
Emily needs to get into her own sexuality and
sensuality and feel happy when she's around him by
finding things in her life that she can be happy
She has to take her focus off of him and find a way
to experience happy moments for herself.
And then, she can share them with him - like, "It
felt so good to take a walk just now. I could feel
the breeze on my face and the air felt so clean..."
There are so many things to express feelings about
that have NOTHING to do with the marriage.
Try out these ideas, and if you'd like extra help,
you'll find SO MANY easy, fast, and FUN Tools in my
newsletters. Let me know how these Tools work for
you, to bring your man close no matter WHAT'S going
on - even if there's another woman in the picture.
I believe that you're incredible, and that with my
Tools, and the bravery I know you have just from the
fact that you're reading my letters, NO other woman
is a match for you.
In her workshops, classes, private coaching and new
book, relationship coach Rori Raye teaches women the
completely original, simple-to-do and stunningly
effective techniques for communication, confidence,
and connecting with men that she used to turn her
own now-glorious eighteen-year marriage around.
To sign up for Rori's free newsletters, go