Become a Natural
Curse of the Attractive Woman
Now that the basic ideas of why
and lasting attraction is so important are out
of the way and you’re starting to get the picture,
let’s get to some of the specific behaviors that
help create and intensify attraction…
To get you started, here’s a fascinating concept to
think about: In most areas of life, those that
experience failure receive a huge benefit from the
lesson they learn from the failure.
Most of the successful women I know have made
mistakes in their careers, with money, friends, etc.
But they all share something in common—they’ve
learned quickly from their mistakes—they won’t make
the same mistake twice. These women might find
themselves in a similar situation, but their
reaction won’t be the same.
But the same doesn’t seem to go for what happens for
these women with men and attraction. The women who
are the most successful with men aren’t often the
ones who have experienced serious difficulty. And
the women who experience more of the painful lessons
with men, whether it was the man’s issues or their
own that brought it about aren’t often the smarter
and wiser for it. In fact, they’re often the ones
that keep making the same mistakes over and over or
are the ones who have the hardest time moving on
from the past.
What I’ve learned from this is that the attitudes
and behaviors that create attraction and success
with men aren’t the obvious things that you’ll pick
up simply with time, experience, and failure. What
creates and builds attraction is often
Of course it helps if a woman is good-looking, but
it’s important to understand that this isn’t the
only thing men are attracted to and why men often
end up wanting to settle down with them. It’s not
about their looks, at least with any normal guy who
isn’t seeking a “trophy girl” on his arm. Men want
to settle down with women who have their emotions
and behavior “together” in a way that signals they’d
make a great companion and makes them feel that
“intellectual attraction” at a deep level.
natural and lasting attraction.
Unfortunately, not everyone was born with the looks
or the personality that will effortlessly attract a
good mate. But the good news is that it’s not about
your looks… you can still learn how to trigger
physical and intellectual attraction with men if you
take the time.
Unless of course you still want to use your looks.
(wink, wink) So whatever it is you are already doing
to look and feel your best, keep doing it.
So let me ask you…
Have you ever known a woman who never had any
problems attracting and meeting men? Maybe she was
gorgeous, or maybe she was just so-so looking but
had a magnetic personality that worked for her.
Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t anything she
studied, read about, or learned from anyone else
that gave her some amazing abilities to attract,
interact with, and understand men.
I call these women the “Naturals.”
They’re the women that have an easy time attracting
men and keeping a guy’s interest, even when they’re
dating men with the most “unavailable” track record.
It’s like they can take those unavailable men and
whip them into shape.
If you know any women like this, they’re great
examples for learning about attraction. “Naturals”
have never really had to worry or think about
interacting with men, finding good men or attracting
them. Everything has come easy to them. They haven’t
done the “trial and error” kind of learning that
most of us go through to find our own way of doing
things (which often doesn’t work too well as I’ve
And since what Naturals know about men has come to
them without much pain, failure, or disappointment,
they can usually avoid internalizing all the fears,
worries and issues that most other women have
brought into their lives from their bad or painful
experiences with men.
So the end result is a woman who isn’t jaded,
paranoid or already negative about relationships.
The point is, Naturals aren’t good at triggering the
physical and intellectual attraction because they
have some secret knowledge or gift other women don’t
have. It’s simply that Naturals don’t let their
fears and issues affect their behavior with men. The
past doesn’t stand in the way of their ability to
create a fun, exciting, magnetic and interesting
environment with a man.
So let me give you the characteristics of
• They keep the earlier interactions with men short
• They’re unpredictable.
• No matter what a man says or does, they don’t get
rattled or taken off balance.
• Instinctively, they seem to “get” what creates and
amplifies attraction in men, without having to be
• When they first meet a man, they never let the
conversation get too serious too soon and they avoid
talking about subjects like work, family, and
religion for too long.
• They’re flirtatious and they offer challenging
twists during conversation.
• They challenge men on their issues in casual and
non-dramatic and non-threatening way.
• If a man is flirting with them they don’t just
accept compliments, but put the ball back in play to
create more tension, which keeps him intrigued.
• They’re patient. They know that having a good time
together and being relaxed as things are starting
out is more important than trying to make things
happen too soon.
• Even if they are dating a man, they keep plans and
interests outside the relationship they’re in. They
don’t lose touch with their own life, friends,
• They never think too far ahead and they understand
that creating a better moment in the present is much
better than trying than worrying or talking the
future of the relationship.
To sum it up, “Naturals” intuitively know that fear,
insecurity, and neediness are the enemies of natural
and lasting attraction and so their behavior and
attitude with every man has little or no trace of
If you’ve got a single girlfriend who’s a Natural
the best thing you can do is go out and spend time
with her in a place where there are lots of men.
Call her up and tell her you want to go out and grab
a drink. Then go to a cool, fun place where you like
the kinds of guys that hang out there. Then just
watch what happens. Your friend will simply find her
way into fun and interesting conversations with men
And here’s where the learning starts. Watch how she
carries herself with a casual and relaxed attitude.
Take note of her posture, where she sits in the
room, how she interacts with everyone from the
bartender to the nice (but uninteresting) guy next
to her. Watch how she challenges men who approach
her. These are all clues to how and why she’s a
Natural at interacting with men and creating
attraction once she finds a guy she’s interested in.
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