|
Up
Online Dating Advantages
How To Find Love Online
|
Learning how to find love online can be a challenge to the dating
life of just about any girl. Compound that with the
fact that most ladies do not really understand the
rules around communicating through online mediums,
writing profiles, emailing men and simply
understanding connections made through
non-traditional means, and you can have yourself
quite an experience – and not always in a good way.
Have you tried online dating yet, or tried to learn
how to find
love online and failed? It’s hard to believe, isn’t
it? I mean, you think that with over six million
people participating in online dating that you would
have a MUCH greater success rate than going out and
trying to meet men at bars .
Well, the difficulty is, if you are not aware of the
hazards of trying to find love online, then you just
might fail. Let’s begin with talking about the
fundamentals – communication and initial attraction
in
Finding Love Online.
First of all, one of the biggest hazards in online
dating is the “instant connection”. It can be a trap
in two ways – first of all in FEELING the instant
connection, and second of all, in NOT feeling the
instant connection. I know – that is a bit
confusing, right?
Let’s think of it this way. First of all, let’s talk
about feeling that instant connection. It’s what we
all want, as ladies, right? To feel that immediate
tingle of attraction and connection to one another
on a deeper level, feelings that might just lead you
to
find love online... it’s what we think that we
are looking for and wanting in a man . And – it
really can be. But look at your past – do you
typically date the wrong kind of man ? Are you
always attracted to those bad boys, and then later
on down the line, they end up treating you like
trash and leaving you hurt and once again, single?
Most ladies ARE attracted to bad boys. Not because
we want to make bad decisions , but because what we
want is a real man – a man who makes us feel
protected, safe, taken care of and, well, like a
girl! Genetically, our bodies want us to find the
best mate – the alpha male if you will, that will
lead us to having the best, strongest, smartest
offspring, etc. This is hard-wired into attraction.
You cannot help it. But you have to learn to
distinguish between finding the “bad boy” who
APPEARS to be an alpha male with his confidence and
animal attraction, and the TRUE alpha male who
treats ladies WELL and has the confidence to
appreciate your own unique abilities without letting
them threaten his status as a man . Make sense?
Ok. So – here is where the duplicity of feeling that
instant attraction comes in. When you are
communicating with someone online, without the
nuance of body language, presence, facial
expression, etc, AND with the element of time freeze
that I mentioned in my previous article (where using
a non face to face format like online communication,
you can stop and think about your answers and take
time to craft a reply) a man can seem to be so much
more – or less – than he really is. This is a
big pitfall when you want to know how to find love
online - because you can be fooled by your own
reactions.
Especially if you are sharing really personal
things! You can get into this very deep
conversation, feeling really connected to a man –
and forget that this may not be what he is really
like, or how he really thinks, because he could be
totally playing with you, feeding off your emotions
and just really getting in to the moment. It is many
times easier to have a really deep conversation with
a stranger through an online medium because that
person does not even seem quite real when they are
just a chat box on a screen.
On the other side of this coin – you could be
communicating with a man online and thinking that
this guy is kind of blah – when really he is a
awesome man who just sucks at communicating in a
non-verbal fashion. It’s a catch 22.
So – what do you do to really learn how to find love
online? The key is this – use the internet, use
online dating, as a TOOL to meet people. Then, take
your meeting offline, to a local cafe for lunch or a
quick coffee break, or meet at the local park to see
an art exhibit. Meet him somewhere public and do an
activity that will not be leading you to the
inevitable “should I invite him in?” question. And
remember this as well – even if you had an AMAZING
connection online, you WILL feel awkward with him,
and he with you, when you first meet. It does not
matter how great your connection was, you are still
going to be nervous and probably struggle with
things to talk about for a little bit while you get
used to each other.
It’s a good idea to have a small list in your head
of things you want to talk about. This should NOT
include ex-boyfriends, things you hate , things that
irritate you, problems in your life or other
negative things. Talk about things that inspire
passion in you – things you love and things that
will give him a great positive view into your
personality and what drives you.
If you want to know more about
how to find love online, be sure to stay tuned
to my blog, or sign up for my newsletter by
following any one of these links!To find out more
about Finding Love Online -
Click Here!
|
